Dear friends have lost their mothers more recently than I lost mine (May 2011) and I was thinking about where I am in my grief nearly 10 years on... the raw, vicious pain of the start seem to have made way for more acceptance and less encounters with the bottomless sense of loss. I couldn't love my mum more so that hasn't dwindled but I think time forces acceptance of a 'new relationship' structure maybe? My mum's not physicallly here and that hurts like hell still but between those bits, I have grown used to a now familiar 'yeah that's what she would have thought' in my head - I 'feel' her view and it enhances mine in ways I didn't take advantage of when she was physically here.
June Irene was a really clever woman who achieved beyond expectation in her career, at a time when women rarely did and she endured so much in other aspects of her life... my concerns would always be lifted by her view - when I took the time to listen (but mothers & daughters hey). Now, I long for it so instead look for any lesson in me she planted.
I'm currently driven to thinking about unity and how on earth to find it in a world so divided, angry and scared. We all hear different news, different 'truths' and come under the influence of things we don't even know have the power to impact. People I hugely respect for their views on one thing... seem incredibly out of touch with another - does that mean I'm right on just one or that they are? This line of thinking sucks and hurts my head.
So back to my mother (always the best of places to go)... I remember her excitement at all she'd learned after a first training trip; she spoke about an exercise with a beachball: each has to draw and describe exactly what they see in front of them...
Outcome of not seeing the full picture:
"It's a red & yellow ball... no it's not you idiot, it's a blue & orange ball... liar, it's white & green!"
Solution:
Better, clearer communication that leaves room for answers beyond expectation.
