My Sis...

Closing Doors...

CLOSING DOORS

Wake up and for a split second – just before the “OH FUCK!”
I feel like I did...
before this COVID
overtook all the thinking space
it’s like the day after mum died
and the days that followed that
where that waking moment
...was the most precious of all
holding within it
a glimpse, memory, reminder
of what it was like
...when it all felt so damned ‘normal’

Then comes the fall…
The tumble down hard landing
into the realisation that there’s
isolation! Bloody iso-bloody-lation! FFS
what happened to our days and ways of being that now seem like distant dreaming?

Some fight it, deny it, claim they’re bigger and ballsier than any virus,
can take it on the chin, whoop its arse and put it behind us
others lay low, go quiet, anxiety rampaging their days
fear stalking the dark of their nights.

Little by little till it’s seeping in under our skin
filtering through our veins
straining the ways of our usual being
till our grip on comfort is lost
...feeble hands clasping at a past that can’t bring
anything into this fearful new world.

Pubs closed, distance kept
true figures swept under carpets
soap opera storylines abruptly paused
and all about, closing doors

Quarantined Italians record messages to "themselves from 10 days ago" du...

Nahko And Medicine For The People - Love Letters To God

Unexpected gifts of activism include being gifted music you would otherwise have missed...

Be Kind

So sad to read of what happens when it all becomes too much to live with. The viciousness of trolls and their supporters is sickening. For the past 4+ years, harrassment/stalking/trolling has been a fact of my life and though I try so hard not to let it, the injustice and nastiness do get to me. Online and in the real-world, me and even more sadly - nearly everyone who has anything to do with me - are targetted by one man and his handful of misguided followers.

Of course the route is to block and ensure you don't 'see' the output - but when it impacts friends, family, fellow campaigners, people I love and respect... then there is no way of NOT seeing the impacts. I know who I am, why I do what I do and still keep taking the next steps I choose and if it weren't for the inclusion of others in the attacks (4+ hate videos per week naming many etc) - I would keep on ignoring the man with the wrong information who is lost in a conspiracy he will never untangle as it's of his own daily-making... but the hurt and damage to people's hearts is too much and I have to keep pursuing some legal recourse.

Even on a practical level this is damaging; this past week alone a large caravan with my name and some slander in large letters was placed on a busy road in the area I live - as I'm trying to find work, this is so damaging as outsiders can't see the whole long, sordid story behind it all. A previous incident involved 27 painted signs of hatred and slander on lamposts up the same road. The legal route and police support are less than worthless (Lancashire Police, Lancashire Police and Crime Commissioner) but I'll keep trying.

To friends and fellow campaigners caught up in this ugliness that has attached to me, I'm sorry this continues so relentlessly.

#BeKind

Activism in & vs politics..

 

Activism takes place in many arenas - this political one though is amongst the most challenging. Our system of government is not dealing with the urgent issues we all face in the here and now and is stuck in a past that had different demands and ways of living - it's creaking like a rusted antique, no longer fit enough, functioning fully or willing to give at all... to address its own inadequacies and failings. 

There is no time to wait this government out - we face an environmental and climate emergency that aren't going away and it's going to take many of us applying pressure in all sorts of ways to force this government to act for the greater good - not bow to lobbyists and economics alone.

It is brilliant that all manifestos from all parties now carry their 'green credentials' but unless there had been a Green Party pushing the issue for the past 4 decades - it would have taken even longer. Politics isn't just about winning elections - it's about being willing as a Party to push unpopular issues into the light, even if they are ugly and not 'vote winning' - but simply because they are true and they matter and we need to be informed so we can act effectively.

So now we know.. we KNOW that #Green isn't just a hippy thing but an existence thing and that so many species have already become extinct that each day of inaction - is another loss. Yet despite those manifesto updates to make them seem green - it's the urgency that's missing in parliament and the lack of focus on solutions rather than the cost of them or the work-rounds that might cut some corners etc.

I didn't join the Green Party expecting to see electoral wins (though there should be), I joined because I wanted to work on the issues that matter above all else - because without a survivable climate, breathable air and drinkable water... jobs, economies, borders, identity, nationality etc - just won't matter anyway.

I choose to engage in politics because it's the thing that causes so much harm and could be used for so much good and I choose to be with Green Party of England and Wales because I trust the ethics at the heart of the party to keep being the wise, honest and persistent voice of reason when all about are failing.

Thanks to Blackpool & Fylde Green Party for this opportunity to share with my sister Julie Daniels.

*The Green New Deal - UK is something we'll be looking to get more involved with as a local party and nationally.

Different Roads...

Looking into each others eyes for the answers seems to be the start of finding them – the intention and the seeking of truth and direction not from government but from others like us, who showed up. It is undeniably obvious too that even as those answers are found or at least the problems defined, those with the power to implement the urgently needed change, don’t. So we go on, gathering ourselves and at least being the change we want to see whilst desperately trying to make it happen.

Since the last event at the roadside of Preston New Road Rolling Roadside Protest on 4th December 2019, it has been an odd feeling of ‘loss’ for many of us who have been so regularly and relentlessly involved in this intense campaign at this location since 5th January 2017. It’s bloody brilliant that the site that kept trying to exist as a shale gas production site – has failed and gone the way of the sites in this area that went before it – nowhere

For those that lived the battle though – we lost our daily comradeship, our shared place and aims that brought us back up that hill time and again. Online too the once busy groups and message threads that buzzed throughout the day and night have calmed like a quietening kettle after it’s off the boil. Pressure gone yes ...but so have we.

I am relieved that I’d said yes months ago to visiting Frack Free North Somerset for their AGM on 14 January 2020 - Richard had asked if a few Nanas could come and even though a moratorium is in place right now – it only covers ‘fracking’ and not all the other unconventional energy extraction techniques just like it (and sometimes worse)… FFNS is at risk of acidisation and so they remain on alert.

Activism and particularly Nana-ing has taken me to so many amazing places in our country and this was one of them – others include the beautiful Herefordshire, the warmly welcoming Ireland where I felt like I was amongst ‘family’ and lots in between. Following the Nana meeting the other day to plan getting back to outreach work, I did feel some trepidation as it’s been a long three years at a roadside and being off it – still hasn’t settled with me. I feel in-transit like I’m looking for something to board for wherever/whatever is supposed to happen next.

I couldn’t have asked though for a better start to ‘next’ than the journey Miranda and I took south. I do love a good organiser (because I am such a poor one) and the preplanning on this was wonderful – Richard had it all sorted so there was that for starters – the knowledge that we wouldn’t have to do anything but what we’d come here to do: give a talk and take questions. It sounds clinical but is so far from that. The talking is about the way our lives are impacted and how we created ways to cope whilst challenging the industry that threatened us. And the questions were an opportunity to share and learn from our individual experiences of planning, policing, politics etc.

The meeting had XR and Green Party people as well as anti-fracking campaigners and so it was good company. There are many types of outreach we do – often at Festivals or gatherings in places where people aren’t already aware and those are very different and very much about raising subjects that are less known to people – meetings with other campaigners though are amongst like-minds and essential for keeping us connected.

The take-away for me after these types of meetings is the relief I feel knowing how many others are acting in whatever way they can to solve problems that seem so insurmountable… that we are not small and alone.

It’s the unity of purpose that’s seen this fight against fracking be the success it’s been – of course it was the election and the earthquake that brought the moratorium but it was the people in rooms, halls and cafes like the one in Somerset that caused the industry to be so delayed and tied up with planning objections and opposition - forcing them into ludicrous and very costly legal battles and PR campaigns to try to win us over with myths and promises that thankfully were pathetically poor… that brought them to near financial ruin and zero success.

After the moratorium I got quite upset when advised not to be joyous at the pause – that it wasn’t good enough because it wasn’t a ban and that it was politically motivated, that it didn’t cover anything other than the very specific ‘fracking’ process and only because the earthquake was felt… but this has been a near decade of a fight and the moratorium for England was a major thing - as it has been in Ireland, Scotland and Wales. So too was the acceptance by Conservative government that there might be cause to pause and look further into this; back at the start and for most of this time, Conservatives refused to even consider that there could be a negative in what they sold as a wonderfully positive vision for our energy future. Their version of perfection has natural cracks in it now and they cannot be made good again (much like the abandoned wells the frackers leave behind).

We have tools in 2020 that we didn’t have before. Council after council is declaring a ‘Climate Emergency’ and again… we could be cynical and say “oh but they won’t act on it” - maybe true right now but every planning application that threatens the environment can now be challenged on this basis – everything IS different! The fact that councils and even media now accept the climate emergency as a fact, is a massive positive too that wasn’t there at the start.

Fighting to save the planet from profit-driven destruction by the selfish who refuse to see further than their own lifetime needs – was never going to be a quick and easy thing… and that it’s a rewarding and sort-of successful thing can’t be seen from the outside or be apparent to those just arriving at realisation… but if you look back to the start of this and compare it to now – we have covered so much ground! From nearly 70% of the UK being up for fracking – there are moratoriums everywhere that have that on hold… from only the Green Party standing with us… we now have all except the Conservatives and even then… they are less confident and in the current climate… less able to convince anyone this is a fabulous idea.

What happens next? Well for the room in North Somerset it is continued vigilance even in this in-between time because of what’s proposed here (acidisation like Yorkshire) and keeping the links with other groups alive because we are all going to go on needing each other until we get this right. Supporting actions, travelling to be with each other and sharing online are still vital and for anti-frackers, it maybe needs to be a lot more about looking to the other issues that are also urgently in need of people like us – other areas at risk from industries that threaten the health and well-being of the community and threaten the environment.

I returned to the south again on Saturday to Bristol this time and networked with a multitude of groups including those defending and fighting for the rights of migrants, detainees, homeless people and mental health care as well as environmental groups. I was in great company too with fellow Nana Louise and Protest Justice campaigner Carol; the people in the room told stories that were heart breaking but those who told them – inspirational. It’s a messy world in all its places and so many aspects of it need help – need us to go on being that change. Maybe we need to reach out across our issues and see who (just like us) needs support for their work… and how we can link ourselves together to trace all this mess back to the source and focus our immense energy on that.
Thanks to all who made this week a great first step in a direction still un-named

Leftover thoughts:
-The Mendips wakes you super early with the most incredible range of beautiful bird song
-Hot water bottles! I’d forgotten how comforting they are – particularly when made by someone who cares you’re warm enough (thank you Nicky xxx)
-The kindness and goodness of people is far more widespread than we sometimes think particularly having been in ‘warrior mode’ for a while
-Chatting with Richard on the porch was a highlight
-I think I like cider – but that may be a bad thing lol!
……………………………………………………

Ps… (as if I haven't already rambled on enough!)
This trip South came the day after our so beloved cat Mister Tiddles was put to sleep and I think I was glad of a reason to get above the grief – I walked into Richard & Nicky’s home and their cat greeted me with a deliberate and familiar head butt and let me give him all the love I needed to soothe the pain a bit… then we got to the lovely venue Loves Cafe and their dog was upstairs looking down and within minutes arrived at my side to pick up where the cat had left off… I swear they both sensed I needed to love them because they felt like a way to connect with the one I’d just lost. I remember reading somewhere once that all cats are just aspects of a one cat… I’ll take that idea.